Today I got a parcel i have been waiting for .... 5 inch heel spectator pumps from america ... for those that dont know about these go and look them up.... they are the shoes most associated with Hollywood icons of the 40's and 50's a time that those who know me will know i believe i should have lived through.
I was born to a generation that believes that as a woman should be equal to men. I should be treat exactly the same as them and not allowed any allowences for being a woman ...
I should be able to play football, change a tyre, drink pints until i pass out and wear jogging bottoms, scrap back my hair and burp on command .... I can do all these things and more I have 11 uncles that shaped my childhood ... I was always going somewhere and doing something with 'the boys'
But... I am not a man ... I was not a boy and although i can do those things what does it get me ... a sprained ankle and bruised shins, a drinks issue and the wrong sort of attention ...
I was born a girl I became a woman and there is nothing wrong with that ... I believe womanhood should be cherished, it gives us so much and i am not ashamed of using it
I work hard I always have and i always will I do not need a man to keep me I am capable of keeping myself, but (and this is where womens lib will slaughter me) I think I should be treat like a lady ....
It does not make me less of a person to have a gentleman hold a door for me ... it does not mean i am incapable if i have him carry my shopping bags ....
Men and women are different ... we are made that way ... I do not want to be a man, and like it or not i will use my femininity to get things i want ... (wrong perhaps but it works!)
by keeping my appearence smart and my make up crisp and clean, I will draw attention ... with a quite spoken voice i will encourage people to listen ... If i remain calm and cool people will give me the respect I deserve....Why would i not want that
Hate me all you like but with my new shoes my make up and clothes, I will win my arguement without much work.... you in your comfortable shoes and clothes ... would you?
Monday 27 July 2009
Wednesday 15 July 2009
Out of the dark
I have Bipolar disorder ... I can say that now ... its quite the fashion item.
It makes me cool
A few years ago ... (when it was called manic depression) noone would use the words, they... people would look at me and wonder what the hell was wrong with me ...
Mental illness is something that has always been around, and I have recently heard it said that there is more cases of depression reported now than ever before ... but the thinking that depression is on the rise is wrong ... the vital word in the statement is 'reported'
Now there is so much that can be done to help people and its not a straight jacket and a sedative (although sometimes i think i may need it)
I was 15 when I first was told i had depression and 19 when I was told i had the then named Manic depression ... and i was 27 before anyone explained what that meant and by then I was Bipolar (although i still prefer manic ... sounds much better)
I am (as of yesterday) 34 and now I understand it, but it doesnt stop being scarey or life changing as you are experiencing it ....
I have nothing of importance to say about depression ... but maybe a small piece of advice
when someone is depressed ... a real chemical depression rather than a reactive depression there is nothing friends and family can do ... there are no words no actions or steps to be taken the person needs to go through it one step at a time ...... but the one thing you can do is to be there half a step behind .... close enough for them to reach out ... so close they can hear your breathing ... you do not need to speak or guide or push
A special person has just done that for me ... he sat each night in my blackness he adjusted his vision to my dark he allowed me to feel my pain and accepted that there was nothing he could do but be there for me, for that I will be eternally grateful .....
To all my friends thank you and I love you. I owe you my life xxx
It makes me cool
A few years ago ... (when it was called manic depression) noone would use the words, they... people would look at me and wonder what the hell was wrong with me ...
Mental illness is something that has always been around, and I have recently heard it said that there is more cases of depression reported now than ever before ... but the thinking that depression is on the rise is wrong ... the vital word in the statement is 'reported'
Now there is so much that can be done to help people and its not a straight jacket and a sedative (although sometimes i think i may need it)
I was 15 when I first was told i had depression and 19 when I was told i had the then named Manic depression ... and i was 27 before anyone explained what that meant and by then I was Bipolar (although i still prefer manic ... sounds much better)
I am (as of yesterday) 34 and now I understand it, but it doesnt stop being scarey or life changing as you are experiencing it ....
I have nothing of importance to say about depression ... but maybe a small piece of advice
when someone is depressed ... a real chemical depression rather than a reactive depression there is nothing friends and family can do ... there are no words no actions or steps to be taken the person needs to go through it one step at a time ...... but the one thing you can do is to be there half a step behind .... close enough for them to reach out ... so close they can hear your breathing ... you do not need to speak or guide or push
A special person has just done that for me ... he sat each night in my blackness he adjusted his vision to my dark he allowed me to feel my pain and accepted that there was nothing he could do but be there for me, for that I will be eternally grateful .....
To all my friends thank you and I love you. I owe you my life xxx
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