Oh ... right!!!!

" I am not high maintenance!!!!" I said with indignation..... my mind working through it. High maintenance women are spoilt ..... Oh!!! .... High maintenance women have to get their own way .... hmmm!!!!!...... High maintenance women need looking after ..... "I AM high maintenance"

I have always believed myself to be a strong independent woman ... I was financially and physically independent at 15. I had my own income and living in student digs ... I was on my own ... something I had been emotionally for many years

Now I was starting to realise that although I am on my own ... I am not independent ... I have always relied heavily on other people ... I didn't look after myself ... I just paid people to look after me!!!

I am the first to admit to having my Diva moments ... a few days ago I was writing about the evening I sent some poor boy out of the hotel early in the morning to find some fish and chips because the hotels idea of fish and chips was .... well far to posh for me

You see I don't think about it like that ... he was there to help me ... I wanted fish and chips ... so I sent him! Oh looking back I must have been a real bitch to work for ... why didn't they tell me to go fuck myself ... I would have

So why was I allowed to become high maintenance .... why am i still being allowed to be high maintenance ....

A few months ago I went to meet some friends in Manchester ... I had to change trains at York ... a simple task, people do it every day ... in my dimness I missed it (again something easily done). So what did I do ... did I (like most people) go to the information desk? Did I look for the next train on a bulletin board? .......No!

Did I find a porter walking along the platform and in my own special way get him to find out the information and take me to where I wanted to be and stay with me until I got on the train to make sure I didn't make a mistake .... Yes!!!

I'm nothing special ... I am no different to anyone else on the platform that day .... I don't think myself better than anyone .. in fact most of the time I think I'm worse than everyone else. But it has to be said people always seem to want to help me

I spent the weekend in a hotel recently and went down to breakfast ... a very nice buffet ... and I was amazed by the toaster ... it was almost magical you placed a piece of bread on the rack and it took the brad into the machine and when it popped out the other side it was toasted ... amazing!!! That morning I had 4 people in total help me with my breakfast ... showing me how things worked helping me reach things and just serving me food .... I didn't ask for help from any of them .......

So despite my reservations I am spoilt, I get my own way and I need looking after .. I am high maintenance

In a discussion about my need for High Maintenance Anonmous it was decided that the meeting would have to be at my house .... well they would have to come to me now wouldn't they!!!!