new year new start....

At the beginning of 2009 I believed i was starting my year ... after years of being unhappy and going through huge amount of stress and bad luck, I had broken free at the end of 2008 ... so I was understandably excited about my new life ...


My old life had ended and my new life had begun ... the possibilities were endless and i intended living them all. It didnt work like that.


Many people will be making new years resolutions ... they will be planning to make 2010 their year. We put a great deal of emphasis on new starts, but a new start can only begin after a real ending.

I carried all the hurt and pain from 2008 with me into 2009.....

Sitting here now in 2010, I see last year differently ... so much has happened ... some good ....alot bad and i started to think ... well its ok 2010 will be my year!!!


But will it? Im not being pessimistic.... for the first time i think that maybe im being realistic. so I scrapped my resolutions ... I scraped plans to make this my best year ever instead im opting for this .... I aim to end 2010 having survived it .... thats all, if i can live each day and end each day without having killed myself or anyone else ... well then thats a good day


As my grandmother told me often "everyday above ground is a good day" so I going to spend this year being thankful that each day im above ground. If i dont put pressure on myself to make it perfect i cant be disappointed and i cant believe ive failed


Last year I went through some of the worst things a girl can go through ... serious ill health... abandonment.... deception.... money issues .... unemployment... and the list goes on

I also met some incredible people and succeeded in many of the things i had hoped i would ... x

So this year ... it wont be my year ... and to be honest im pleased about that ... Im not ready to have my best year .... because after that it will be all downhill.

when your making your resolutions ... remember they are for fun ....you wont even remember them by march

For what its worth heres my advice instead of resolutions ...... buy a lottery ticket tape it too a piece of paper and write 10 things you would do if you won the lottery ... then pin it somewhere you will see occasionally ... all the things on it are possibe .... we are swayed by money but the passion and want behind each materialistic want is an emotional need .... locate the emotonal need and find a less materialistic way of getting it .... dont try to change yourself with resolutions, look inside yourself and see what you really want ..... then make it happen

All the very best in 2010 ..... lets all just get out alive xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx